Most couples experience a stormy weather in their relationship at one point or another in their lives. This is very natural because there are a lot of factors that can create conflicts between Couples counseling west palm beach and at times, nobody wants to give way. This is where most of the relationship problems start, when both partners do not recognize their faults and shortcomings and both are trying to point out that they are right and it is always the other who is wrong. However, conflicts should never be reason enough to end a relationship. There are still simple ways that can be done in order to achieve a successful relationship rescue.
Communicate with your partner
Communication is one of the most effective keys to complete a relationship rescue plan. This should always be included in the list as more and more couples these days broke up without even acknowledging the real reason why things did not turn out the way they expected them to be for their relationship. So when things are getting somewhat out of hand, partners should talk things over and voice out their sides and open up their grudges before everything is too late.
Through communication, both will have a clear picture of what is going on, why the conflict is happening, and what relationship rescue methods can be done to surpass this period.
Know when to keep quiet
Although silence could not be the best solution for an effective relationship rescue, but it does contribute a lot so as the problem will not aggravate. Most often, when couples are having conflicts, they tend to talk too much, thus, they neglect one of the most important parts of a relationship and that is listening.
Partners should know when to keep quiet during a heated argument. It is not a good idea to raise voices, shout at each other, and worse, resort to physical violence to silence the other. When both are angry, they should let their heavy emotions subside first before speaking because more often than not, an angry person speaks even without sense and never takes any reason.
Spend time to be alone for a while
If communication and keeping in silence did not work as part of the relationship rescue scheme, spending time to be alone could be the best thing to do for the meantime. Conflicts have two effects: one is to strengthen the relationship and two is to break the relationship. If these conflicts repeat in circles everyday, the tendency is that both partners will be fed up, and thus the first thing that comes to their mind as a solution is to end the relationship.
However, this can be prevented if both have some space for a while and try to reassess their feelings and realize where their mistakes are. This can be an effective relationship rescue method because sometimes people realize the importance of their partner when he or she is not around.
These are some of the effective ways that couples can do in order to achieve a successful relationship rescue. Both partners should realize that ending the relationship is not always the best solution to end a conflict, but instead follow these relationship rescue methods to resolve them. With all these things in mind, no matter what conflicts come in the relationship, both partners can get through these and make their relationship even stronger.
What’s the key to a successful relationship? Some might think that’s the million dollar question. Sometimes it’s just the simple things, that we easily forget or think are unimportant that hold the key to a healthy and happy relationship. Read through the helpful tips below on how to make your relationship go the distance.
1. Without quality time together, your relationship will not survive. Aim to devote at least half an hour a night, and at least one day a month when the two of you spend time exclusively together.
2. You both want to feel secure within the relationship. A good relationship is built on compromise and a lot of give Marriage and couples coaching online take from both of you.
3. Often those little things that first attracted you to your partner can turn into nasty annoying habits. Learn to love your partner warts and all. Don’t try to change them into something they’re not, after all you fell in love with them just the way they were.
4. Money is one of the top conflicts between most couples. For the relationship to work, you need to address your finances and maybe even work out a budget.
5. Learn to argue well. Never say something to your partner that you wouldn’t want to hear said back. Just remember, the one good thing they say about arguing, is the making up afterwards.
6. Communication is vital to all healthy relationships. Listen to your partner and avoid blame and judgement. Don’t let your emotions dictate your behaviour. Remember just talking things over can help you to both have a deeper understanding of each other.
7. Sort out your sex life, it may start to go downhill over the years, don’t just accept it. As soon as you notice it, address it with your partner and work out why, and what to do to bring back the passion. Maybe one of your prefers more sex than the other. Why not experiment with new ideas in the bedroom. Role play, dressing up, or maybe take your sex life out of the
bedroom and try new places. The introduction of marital aids into the relationship can also help to spice things up. Whatever you decide, remember communication is vital.
8. Try to keep your dependence and independence in balance. Tell your partner how much you need them, but don’t get to dependent on them and cling to them all the time, as that can make your partner feel trapped. On the flip side of this, don’t allow your partner to think you don’t need them, by going or doing things without them. Try to keep a happy and healthy balance
between the two.
9.Learn to forgive. If you know you will never forgive your partner over something important, and feel the trust can never be regained then give yourself, and him a break and start again, with someone new.
10. Don’t ever think that going to counselling is a sign of a failed relationship. It can turna bad relationship around and can also turn an average relationship into an excellent one. More and more people are turning to counselling today than ever, it shows you are both prepared
to try and make things better, which can’t be a bad thing at all.
The fact remains, that whether you’re dating or married, relationships are hard. It takes 100% commitment from both of you. However, healthy and long-lasting relationships are achievable and many couples have proven just that. Not everything is always going to be perfect but if you both choose to make it work then it can. And remember it’s the little things that you sometimes do that can go a long way to making your relationship work.
Good relationships don’t just happen. I’ve heard many of my clients state that, „If I have to work at it, then it’s not the right relationship.“ This is not a true statement, any more than it’s true that you don’t have to work at good physical health through exercise, eating well, and stress reduction.
I’ve discovered, in the 35 years that I’ve been counseling Couples counseling Palm Beach, 7 choices you can make that will not only improve your relationship, but can turn a failing relationship into a successful one.
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF
This is the most important choice you can make to improve your relationship. This means that you learn how to take responsibility for your own feelings and needs. This means that instead of trying to get your partner to make you feel happy and secure, you learn how to do this for yourself through your own thoughts and actions. This means learning to treat yourself with kindness, caring, compassion, and acceptance instead of self-judgment. Self-judgment will always make you feel unhappy and insecure, no matter how wonderfully your partner is treating you.
For example, instead of getting angry at your partner for your feelings of abandonment when he or she is late, preoccupied and not listening to you, not turned on sexually, and so on, you would explore your own feelings of abandonment and discover how you might be abandoning yourself.
When you learn how to take full, 100% responsibility for yourself, then you stop blaming your partner for your upsets. Since blaming one’s partner for one’s own unhappiness is the number one cause of relationship problems, learning how to take loving care of yourself is vital to a good relationship.
KINDNESS, COMPASSION, ACCEPTANCE
Treat others the way you want to be treated. This is the essence of a truly spiritual life. We all yearn to be treated lovingly – with kindness, compassion, understanding, and acceptance. We need to treat ourselves this way, and we need to treat our partner and others this way. Relationships flourish when both people treat each other with kindness. While there are no guarantees, often treating another with kindness brings kindness in return. If your partner is consistently angry, judgmental, uncaring and unkind, then you need to focus on what would be loving to yourself rather than reverting to anger, blame, judgment, withdrawal, resistance, or compliance. Kindness to others does not mean sacrificing yourself. Always remember that taking responsibility for yourself rather than blaming others is the most important thing you can do. If you are consistently kind to yourself and your partner, and your partner is consistently angry, blaming, withdrawn and unavailable, then you either have to accept a distant relationship, or you need to leave the relationship. You cannot make your partner change – you can only change yourself.
LEARNING INSTEAD OF CONTROLLING
When conflict occurs, you always have two choices regarding how to handle the conflict: you can open to learning about yourself and your partner and discover the deeper issues of the conflict, or you can try to win, or at least not lose, through some form of controlling behavior. We’ve all learning many overt and subtle ways of trying to control others into behaving the way we want: anger, blame, judgment, niceness, compliance, caretaking, resistance, withdrawal of love, explaining, teaching, defending, lying, denying, and so on. All the ways we try to control create even more conflict. Remembering to learn instead of control is a vital part of improving your relationship.
For example, most people have two major fears that become activated in relationships: the fear of abandonment – of losing the other – and the fear of engulfment – of losing oneself. When these fears get activated, most people immediately protect themselves against these fears with their controlling behavior. But if you chose to learn about your fears instead of attempt to control your partner, your fear would eventually heal. This is how we grow emotionally and spiritually – by learning instead of controlling.
CREATE DATE TIMES
When people first fall in love, they make time for each other. Then, especially after getting married, they get busy. Relationships need time to thrive. It is vitally important to set aside specific times to be together – to talk, play, make love. Intimacy cannot be maintained without time together.
GRATITUDE INSTEAD OF COMPLAINTS
Positive energy flows between two people when there is an „attitude of gratitude.“ Constant complaints creates a heavy, negative energy, which is not fun to be around. Practice being grateful for what you have rather than focusing on what you don’t have. Complaints create stress, while gratitude creates inner peace, so gratitude creates not only emotional and relationship health, but physical health as well.
FUN AND PLAY
We all know that „work without play makes Jack a dull boy.“ Work without play makes for dull relationships as well. Relationships flourish when people laugh together, play together, and when humor is a part of everyday life. Stop taking everything so seriously and learn to see the funny side of life. Intimacy flourishes when there is lightness of being, not when everything is heavy.
A wonderful way of creating intimacy is to do service projects together. Giving to others fills the heart and creates deep satisfaction in the soul. Doing service moves you out of yourself and your own problems and supports a broader, more spiritual view of life.
If you and your partner agree to these 7 choices, you will be amazed at the improvement in your relationship!
Happiness and fulfillment are two great components of a successful marriage. The absence of which, along with other things, may eventually cause marital disasters.
The most basic principle that marriage counseling teaches is to save an existing relationship from total destruction and to lead both of the couple back to the path of marital bliss. Though marriage counseling may work for some, the truth remains to be the truth- there are marriages that may never be saved.
For both conditions, there are corresponding reasons and factors. Many of these will be discussed in the succeeding paragraphs. But the bottom line for Modern Online Dating 101 both factors is that the willingness of both parties to restore the broken relationship is actually the ultimate driving factor.
There are several reasons why couples seek marriage counseling. This is but natural, for there are endless possibilities why how people create conflicts in their marriages. Though it is widely accepted that all marriages are bombarded with difficulties some time in their lives, it is sad to note that many don’t seem to override them. And most drop into the pitfall of divorce.
The most natural conditions by which marriage counseling is often sought are when couples feel frustration, extreme sadness and severe hurt. These are frequently not new between the couples and had been growing around for years. Unfortunately, the only time that people enter marriage counseling is when the relationship is already on the edge of breaking down. This is reason enough why young couples or those that are yet starting to sense fraction in their relationship have the greater chance of fixing the marriage.
It is not wrong to aspire for happiness. But it is not often that way. To get rid of further troubles, it is wise to accept this reality and to work towards achieving happiness on a more sensible and realistic approach. Marriage demands hard work. It obliges the couple to commit themselves to the consequences of their relationship. They often need to suspend their egos and to drop down the claim for who is right to get around the issues that may send them shouting over dinners. Agreeing to drop the „who is right“ thing is a crucial part of both the marriage and marriage counseling. Without this, everything may all be in vain.
It may have been observed that throughout this article, saving the marriage is only the central discussion. But how about for those couples who insist for divorce? Marriage counseling may also answer for that. However, it may be a much longer process, especially when children are at stake. If the marital relationship may not be saved, then the best solution to this is for the couples to transform into friends or willing co-parents towards the growth of their children. This way, pain may be lessened while contributing to a much constructive process.
During the stage of dissolution, extreme pain and other mixes of emotions may be felt. This state may be further aggravated by the obvious emotional and physical separation. For the majority of cases, this state may come to the level of mourning and distress. Marriage counseling may be of best help during this condition as it may help to bring out unexpressed emotions between the couples.
Once the signs of marriage destruction have made themselves transparent for the couples, it is best to seek marriage counseling in the earliest possible time. Or you might be too late to save the relationship.